Broken heart
by Nairalin
Summary: It's a drama about Curufin's death.


Broken Heart 

Written by Amarië Feanén Súriëll

Tears fell down to the ground, my heart beat hard in my chest. It ached with the weight of mountains this emotion to be unfilled. I saw you in the great hall of Menegroth, saw the swords in your hands, red of blood of the elves.

The oath you had given with your siblings Feanáro, your father, had gathered you, _melindo_ (my love)! This old swear became spoken in anger. Anger that applied Morgoth. Everyone who got the Silmaril and didn't give it back would be pursued with revenge and soreness.

After Lúthiën's death her son Dior had gotten the silmaril and therefore your brothers and you attacked Doriath. I tried to warn Dior, tried to hold you back.

But I could not.

I was too weak.

In these days I was in Menegroth, wanted to help and to keep out you. I knew Doriath would be destroyed after the war of the jewels which was the longest, most desperate and most hopeless war in Beleriand. Thousand died because of the war, because of Morgoth and his subordinates and because of the Silmarils.

I saw Dior in front of Celegorm and you, my love, saw his blood on your blades. Celegorm was so angry, I could not remember that I ever had seen him so. His face was contort. Your brother stabbed Dior, ignored my scream and laughed cruelly. I was horrified by that.

"Celegorm, why?", I whispered.

But Dior, the silver-haired elf slayed him, and then at last you.

Oh _melindo_, why didn't you listen to me? Why?

Now you're lying on the blood-drunken ground. Your black hair full of your own blood and your eyes, your wonderful emerald eyes I loved so, were broken and full of emptiness.

There was a time, at the beginning of your period in Middle-Earth, a time you sweared me, sweared that you wouldn't fight anymore for Feanáros gems. It would be your right place by my side. You have broken the oath, the word you have given me, my love! Now you are dead like your siblings and cousins.

I could not believe that! I could not understand it, the terrible pain that I felt. My heart slowly broke into small pieces when I saw you, I wept for my loss.

I wanted to go to you, I ran to the place you were lying. Your chest was ripping up, your blood…it was everywhere. By your side I kneeled and layed your head on my lap. The pain of your loss spoiled me. Softly I caressed your face, kissed once again your lips.

I must let you go. It was more than painful, I couldn't describe it.

Memories of the centuries we were together, of our first kiss. I remembered this as it was yesterday. You brought me to my new tent, held close me from behind with your arms and whispered the answers of my questions in my hair. I knew you – how long what it be – three or four days, but my heart already belonged to you at that time. I kissed you, kissed you. That was the beginning of our love.

Or as you exempted me from Thangorodrim's prison. In the Dagor-Nuin-Giliath the Balrogs had caught me and brought me to the dark Lord. I didn't eat anything cause I was so scared.

You showed me so many in the centuries we'd been together. I learned to live, learned how good your love for me was, what real love was, _melindo_!

But you were gone, gone to Mandos eternal halls and I couldn't do anything.

I wasn't strong enough to help you, my love!

I felt so weak, so helpless, so alone.

Suddenly I felt a touch on my shoulder. It was Maitimo, your eldest brother who stood behind me. His face was worried about me. I saw this endless sadness in his eyes, so his love for me, his sister-in-law. Softly he pulled me away from you.

"Fea, he's dead. We cannot do anything for him. You must live, he would want this!", Maitimo said. His strong arms around me were a little comfort. But nobody could replace you, Curufin. Nobody!

My heart died with you. What was left when I followed you? What was really left?

All I ever wanted doesn't exist anymore. All I wanted were only you. But now you're dead.

Curufin, I've ever loved you more than my life. More than I could say and describe. They all said one day the One would remake Arda, said all they were now in Mandos would live again. I hoped with every fibre of my heart it would be true.

This was my hope, my greatest wish…

One day I would see you again, when this was true. One day…

_This is my first English-FF. It was a attempt of mine to write something like that in English._


End file.
